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> > > ASTASIA < < <
Questions? Email me.
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| I may not be one to talk but:
You have no right to try to make claims on something that you have absolutly no clue about.
I'm sick of the drama. I'm sick of people reading too deep into things. Stop taking things I do so personally. It's not you so stop being pissy about it. Sometimes there are things that have no words to express them. Accept it. Get over it. Get on w/ ur life
PS - I'm through w/ xanga. | | |
| Although there are several things that I don't like about Oklahoma, there is one thing that never seizes to amaze me - it's breathtaking landscape. I went driving tonight because I've been in my room all day not feeling so good and I decided I needed to get out just for a change of scenery. So I went driving down the "scary road" all the way to the end and found the Twin Lakes campsite. As scary as that road is at night, if you go right around sunset it will take your breath away. It's doing little things like that every once in a while that makes me really appreciate living on this Earth and just stand in awe of God's amazing creativity and beauty. I feel blessed that God has allowed me to see such wonderful art.
I'm feeling a little better. I haven't eaten all day and I just finished a bowl of cereal and I think that helped a little bit. I just wanna say that I have had some much fun the past week. I haven't really had much quality "girl time" since I've been here at OBU but this past week I did. Skye and Fiona - you two are amazing and I'm so glad I am friends with you both. Jackie - it has been a lot of fun to work on props with you. You are an amazing women. Well, I'm gonna try to get some work done (yea right). Luv you all! | | |
| So do you ever feel like you keep screwing up at everything? I
do. I get so disappointed in myself sometimes. Why can't I just do
something right for once, ya know? I feel like the scum of the earth at
the moment. Don't ask why. I'm okay - I think it's exagerated because
I'm tired. I wish life where perfect, I wish I were perfect. I'm not
and it hurts me because I feel, sometimes, that people expect that from
me. Blah. Blah. Blah. That's what I feel like right now.
Also, I hate Eve sometimes. She makes my life miserable. GRR.
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| So I am going to be taking a little vacation from xanga for a while why
I get caught up on school work and since I can't get internet in my
room. Spring Break was good, I wish I could have been in Corpus though.
 My grandmother isn't really getting better
but she hasn't had any "spells" as we call them since I've come back to
school. It's really sad, I don't know if she will be with us to much
longer. I still have a lot of work to catch up on - mainly tests and
stuff. Hopefully, I will be close to caught up by the middle of
next week.
The following is for everyone who gets annoyed with me b/c I don't hang out with them all the time:
When I came to school in the fall, I had no desire to really continue
and education beyond High School. I didn't see a reason too. Doing what
I wanted to do, I felt a degree really wouldn't help too much. I wanted
to take a year off and then come to college but I knew my parents would
have flipped out at the idea of that, so I came. After last semester
and this past winter break I realized that a degree in theatre really
is beneficial. This is not something my parents have forced upon me,
this is my own belief - that a degree is important. Is it possible to
do well with out one in this business? Yes, but it is less likely and
much harder. So I have realized that if I want to do well in life
(which I do) and make a name for myself, it is important that I try to
do well in school. For me this means, sacrificing weeknights with
friends to do hmw. Especially right now because I have so much work to
do. If I fail a class this semester it means I don't come back in the
fall. It does not mean that I don't like you, that I am self-centered,
or that I don't care about you. I love you all and I wish I was able to
spend every night until 4am with you guys, but for me it can't happen.
I have to focus and get caught up and I need my sleep. Sleep is very
important to me, and when I don't get enough my body collapses on me
and I get really sick. I value this education because the next few
years are whats gonna really effect how well off I'll be in life. Well,
I hope that clarifies a few things, if it doesn't I'm sorry. Well, I
need to go get things done. This will probably be my last xanga post
for a while (a week or two). So don't complain that I'm not updating. I
luv you all!!!!!!!!!!!!
Becca
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